The other morning I got home from my workout to find Ollie fast asleep on the couch. It was only 6:15 and the house was quiet and ready to be opened up to cool it down. It felt peacefully still and happy. And although it’s not unusual to find Ollie on the couch by himself at this time of morning, what was a little different is that he had dragged Benjamin (his favorite doll) out to join him. Seeing him fast asleep with a blanket and Benjamin overwhelmed me with a satisfied feeling of contentment and joy… Hmmmm…. That’s curious.
Sometimes I have to check in with my feelings. What am I feeling? Where is it coming from? Why so happy over this 7-year-old boy asleep on the couch, in his Minion jammies holding a doll?
I called Nels (my hubby) and shared with him this adorable moment. He didn’t necessarily coo 😉 But that’s okay. I had triple the amount of coo-ing needed to feel this moment to its fullest. Talking about it with him it finally occurred to me what the feeling was!
Ollie had chosen to do something on his own. No one was up to tell him what to do. No one was awake to answer his questions. He could have gone into Nels to request something. But instead, he decided to go out into the living room, and in finding no one there, got cozy, and fell back asleep. He asserted himself and did what he wanted all on his own… independence. It’s a beautiful and dignifying thing.
It’s a small thing 🙂 But raising Ollie has opened my eyes to the small things worth celebrating. My 33-year-old self wants to be like that too. I want to find things that move me to make just one small decision that motivates me to be more independent and assertive.
Life is such a gift. It truly truly is. We don’t know how long we will be here together. (My friends accuse me of thinking dire all the time- so brace yourself!) 🙂 But because of Ollie I will have these moments of awareness that we’re not promised a whole lot in life. We probably have tomorrow, but we might not.
So as much as we want to plan for our futures and be responsible, we also want to live bravely and fearlessly. Do something new. Make a change. Grow. Exert your gift of independence even if only in a small way. It’s so stinking satisfying! Not only for you, but for those around you that witness you trying something new.
I hope your cup runneth over my friend. Happy Thursday or whatever day it is you’re reading this 🙂