The most common potty training issue I hear parents talk about is that they just can’t seem to get their child to poop in the toilet. They’ll go pee in the potty, they’ll hold it, they’re dry over-night, but they simply demand to poop (often in a corner!) in their under-roo’s….
Well… I have been there! With all three boys! I was skeptical that my uncommon method would work with Ollie, but I’ve had such great success, I thought I’d share one option in getting your child to go number two in the loo…
I went back and forth on this and settled on the fact that it is NOT child abuse. I never used frigid water… so hear me out on this.
When a kid poops in the their underpants and it causes them no discomfort… they don’t have no problem… you have a problem…
So I took this thought and according to Love and Logic‘s theory, I thought about how I might make pooping in his underwear, his problem. The best thing I could come up with was to blame it on the plumbing.
When I knew that my child was willfully choosing to go in his underwear, I would very sweetly (truly sweet, not a trace of sarcasm or resentment) say “uh-oh, we better go wash you up quick! Poop has germs in it and we need to hurry to get your buns clean.” And then I’d march him off to the bathroom and put him straight into the tub. I’d pull off his undies (trying to clean as much in that one motion as possible) and put his bum right under the faucet. I’d then wash him with cold (not frigid!) water and the whole time exclaim over and over “I wish we had time for the water to get warm, but we just don’t have time! These poopy germs need to get washed off right away! I’m so sorry honey- I hate cold water too.”
Empathy, empathy, empathy….
I was never the bad guy putting cold water on them. I was simply trying to get those bad germs away from them, and the water faucet (gosh darnet) just wouldn’t get warm fast enough!
Did I ever lie? You betcha. Sometimes I never put on the warm setting but my kiddos didn’t know, and I swear it sped up the process by a bazillion times!
Now for Ollie… Could I really give my special needs child a cold bath?! Surely I had never abused the other kids with the cold water, but is it really realistic to do this with my special needs kid? Well, I waited. I waited a long time. And when I was absolutely convinced that he was pooping in his uns on purpose, I decided to try it… Through sign language I remember saying…
And you know what?! It worked! From that day on, he stopped pooping in his underwear. The only negative side effect is that sometimes when I tell him it’s time for a shower before bed, he’ll ask “Warm?” With mom guilt I have to say, “Yes of course buddy.” But the updside is there’s a lot less frustration and dirty laundry!
Now friends… please hear me!
I’m dead serious that I only believe this is a good idea if you can be kind and sweet to your kid. This is not a punishment. This is a natural consequence.
Sing with me now, “When we poop in our undies, we have to take quick baths and we don’t have time to wait for the water to warm up! Mommy’s going to go as fast as she can!” 🙂
Good luck! Feel free to chat about this idea in the comments! I’d love to hear what your methods are!