With a new schedule (#summer) I’ve had to make a lot of decisions about how we will spend our time and the things we will do… as well as the dreaded “How much screen time my kids will have.” In having such a shift I had no idea that my confidence would be rocked so much. Suddenly I am filled with questions…
Who do I want my kids to be?
Who do I want to be? How can I get there?
Who should we spend time with? How much time should we spend at home?
And on and on and on I go…. Question after question after question…
After wondering for quite a bit, I talk to other moms about these things. And I listen and I hear about how they do things with their kids. And then it hits me like an unexpected nerf dart… jealousy.
Spend only 3 minutes on Facebook and you can feel it too (wink face) 🙂
Men and women – husbands and wives – fathers and mothers – brothers and sisters – sons and daughters – employees – athletes…
As adults, our world is FULL to the brim of ways to look at people and admire… to feel less than and jealous. People have more than you, look better than you, and are better parents than you… And if you want to, you can fall asleep every night with that suffering feeling of inadequacy and discontentment… I know I have!
But let’s think about this… my life although not perfect… is wonderful. I have countless things to be grateful for if only I think about them and dwell on them. My journey is harder in some respects than others. But it’s also easier in other ways. I had a very impactful conversation with another special needs mother yesterday. She went on and on about the joy that her son experiences and how awesome his life is. And she was dead serious. If you were to look at their family dynamics, you would be tempted to think that it is probably difficult and you’d wonder ‘how she does it.’ But here she sat.. joyfully recounting how sweet and wonderful her boy is. And as she shared, I felt the same courageous, contagious feeling overcome me. And as I sit and ponder what exactly that emotion is, I find that it’s gratitude. I’m feeling thankful for what I have. And the things that I don’t have?… I feel content without them.
I want so many things! And in an insecure place, I get jealous when thinking about all the things I want. However, taking into account that I am loved (at least by God) and I have what I need, makes me insanely joyful.
My kids are enjoying their summer. They’re learning responsibility. They feel loved. Ollie has limitations that challenge us in incredibly difficult ways. But everyone on the planet has their own battle today. I could be jealous and want my friends lives… Or I can be realistic that everyone is facing something that challenges them to their core.
My challenge today is to be realistic. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, etc… although wonderful and useful and SO FUN (and things I will continue to use…) give a limited perspective to people’s lives.
I am posting this to give myself a little accountability. I choose to be careful about when I will check social media and the lows I will allow myself to get into in regards to jealousy and discontentment. I am loved. I am liked. And you are too 🙂 If you’re a reader that I’ve never met, I’m convinced we would be friends because when you know people in the fullness of themselves, you can’t help but like them 😉
I wish you well today! I wish you contentment and gratitude 🙂 …Not because you have to behave that way… but because from the soul on the inside, to your face on the outside, it creates a deep satisfying smile.
So as my dad used to say (true story), “Amanda, there are millions of people in the world that are prettier than you and smarter than you…” To which I would dramatically reply “Daaaaaaaad! 🙁 ” And he would continue… “And there are millions of people in the world that are not as beautiful and not as smart as you. It’s not about being better or worse than someone. It’s about being you.”